According to Men’s Fitness there are at least 50 first date conversation starters that could be applied to either men or women, any age group, any nationality, any sex, whoever wants to be the first to break the ice. Among the top five of the 50:
- If you could hop on a plane right now, where would you go?
- What’s something I wouldn’t guess about you?
- What are you most passionate about?
- What’s your dream job?
- What sort of things make you laugh out loud?
Just looking at the top five, it seems the common denominator is the person asking the question is giving the other person an opportunity to talk about her or himself. Comparing opinions, we saw some similarities with the top five conversation breakers, according to eHarmony , which keeps it simple by advising nervous daters to “listen as much or more than you talk”. By asking any question, you’re about to do just that. eHarmony also suggests:
- Don’t dump (about people or negative things happening in your life)
- Be genuinely interested in the other person’s answers to your best ice breaker
- Ask who has been the biggest influence in the other person’s life
- Ask about the person’s favorite movie
- Ask “Who is your best friend and what do you like about him/her?”
Women’s Health Magazine says there are 10 “NO-Fail” conversation starters for a first date. Fortunately and naturally they take on a slightly different tone than the so-called proven male ice breakers. Most women know it’s not a meal anymore that speeds you to a man’s heart, it’s comfort and compatibility. A good portion of that comes with boosting his ego, whether you want to or not. Among Women’s Health suggestive first questions:
- What are you most proud of?
- How was your day?
- What’s the boldest thing you have ever done?
- Spill the details of your worst date ever!
- Are you a pet person?
The Women’s Health questions are good. Personally, my friends and I wouldn’t care about the person’s worst date ever in the past, nor would we ask about the pets. Asking about pets and babies assumes that person will be in your home at some point. Women’s Health also warns against asking too many questions. It can be annoying and intimidating to the other person.
Breaking the ice really isn’t a hard thing to do. The problem (or laughter) comes when someone breaks the ice the wrong way. That could be a wrong question such as “How much money do you make?” or a wrong statement such as “I want to be married with six children, four dogs and a seven bedroom house within the next year”.
The 3 absolute rudest things a person can do on a first date, according to Women’s Health are:
- Take a smoke break
- Check their telephone (unless it’s established in the first place that one is checking the babysitter)
- Being late
If you don’t need any of the advice above because you are already a self described expert on dating, then disregard all of it. Most of this stuff comes from trial and error anyway. I always think about my mother’s famous phrases. One that applies here is: “Women don’t NEED men, they WANT them and men don’t WANT women, they NEED them. It may not make total sense until you put them in the context of the suggested first date questions. The first date questions are designed not to help you FIND the right person but instead they are designed to help you BE the right person. Have fun!