First you have to accept that nothing gets done, or at least not much gets done. If you’re hearing this while waiting in a supermarket line, or if you’re reading it while on hold for a “customer” “service” rep., you know the story. If you’ve ever tried a building project —Wessays #589PartQ — in a house full of people, you know the story. Nothing gets done.
Here’s why: Zigzags have taken over the world. Oh, they don’t know they’re that… and they don’t know to call it that. But that’s what they are. You want to make lunch? Great. Start to make lunch and see if something doesn’t happen to stop you well before you’re finished, to end your momentum, your inertia. “Honey, please water the plants…” is one good interruption. Or “I have to sweep the kitchen floor right now and right where you’re standing.” There’s another.
Zigzags. You can’t go directly from point “a,” in this case the “crafting” of a peanut butter sandwich or two (nothing gets “made” anymore. It gets “crafted.” Even beer or cars. How do you “craft” a beer?) You get zigzagged at every turn, sometimes literally.
You’re on the road. All of a sudden there’s a road crew that sends you on a detour. You’re in the doctor’s office, in the exam room, and he or she pops in and says “I’m sorry. I’ll be a few minutes. Something’s come up. That “something” may be a patient in dire need of help. But more likely, it’s time to set up an appointment for a haircut or a home repair. The doc is not exempt from zigzagging.
So, it seems you can’t get from A to B in a straight line anymore. Some people call this multitasking. It ain’t. THIS: is multitasking: Hunting for an open register at a near-vacant Sears while texting your mom about her mom’s pot roast recipe and counting time between contractions to guess whether you’re going to give birth before they announce the winner of “America’s Got Talent.”
Needing to “throw in the laundry” in between spreading the peanut butter on the slices of bread, that’s zigzagging.
And there is no cure. You can’t, for example, say “Honey, I’ll do the laundry as soon as I’m finished making lunch” — heaven forbid you sit down and eat before heading for the Maytag.
Polite explanations don’t work. Intentional deafness doesn’t work. Snapping angrily CERTAINLY doesn’t work.
Those of us not inclined to zigzag are conquered. Face it. Accept it. Live with it. Learn — if possible — to love it.
-“The shortest distance between two points is a straight line.” — Archimedes
–Let’s hear it for the oh-so-progressive state of North Carolina. They’ve finally flushed their idiot public restroom regulations that required you to prove your birth gender before entering. But that has a downside… they’ve thrown all the hall monitor inspectors out of work.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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